Friends, I am not going to lie, I reached a new low this evening when I found out that my Loan Deferment hasn’t gone through yet, while simultaneously remebering a broken cigarette under the cushion of my couch. While I happened to have a lozenge in my mouth at that exact moment-all I wanted was a cigarette. When I say the cigarette was broken, I mean it was broken in half, and also nearly flattened. I took it out of the couch and put it back together again, to smoke it-which I did. Outside.
Intellectually, I know this a new low- I mean, I smoked a stray and broken cigarette underneath the cushion of my couch for God knows how long. It was next to a quarter, a receipt from Target, some yarn, and also a candy wrapper. What sort of person would smoke this cigarette? I asked myself. Clearly someone who really, really wants to smoke. However, I know I should feel shame in my soul, and yet I don’t.
There was a dude in my old neighborhood (Verdun — so let your mind wander…) who used to smoke butts he dug out of a huge sandpit ashtray in front of the depanneur. We called him the “cigarette troll”. You still have a long way to fall, baby…
I remember how difficult it was to quit, and there were many incidents of charred salvaged butts that tasted like cat urine in between. Don’t beat yourself up about it, and just trust you’ll get there eventually. When you do, I promise you won’t think about cigarettes longingly ever again. I don’t, and I was very addicted only three years ago. Hang in there, kitten on a clothesline! xx
So you’ve decided to smoke butts: here’s what you need to know
Candle wax is good for repairing broken cigarettes
The technical term for a bonus cigarette you dig out of the ashtray is a “refry”
In general, getting wet greatly reduces refry quality. However, if you can get past the brown appearance and the slightly spicy taste the buzz is the same
The best place to find quality refries is ashtrays filled with sand